Friday, December 13, 2013

Little ramblings tonight

Listening to a song called Bones by Hillsong United, over and over and again.  What a great way to “wake up” my spirit these last few days.

I’ve looked around a lot lately and seen a lot of people doing a LOT of good in their lives and the lives of those that they cross paths.  Why do I get envious of what everyone else is doing and fail to see any good in my own life?  I’m feeling very inadequate.  Lord I pray for your peace to rise in my soul....may I continue to listen to your still small voice even in the middle of all the chaos that is my life. 

My new adventure in my season of “preparation”:

I wanted to make sure I wrote this down for myself, so I can look back in a few months and remember why I choose to do this haha.  A few months back a friend and I were talking and she said, “Leslie, you have to embrace the time when you are feeling “stuck” as a time of preparation."  I’ve been feeling very “stuck” lately.  A stirring that I get every so often, when I become too comfortable in my sweet sweet American life.  My husband is currently 2 years into a 4 year program to become an ordained Nazarene Pastor.  And here we are, perfectly happy, at a big, beautiful, wonderfully awesome church in Lakeland.  We wouldn’t want to be anywhere else as we go through this time of “preparation”.  We are blessed.  But that doesn’t stop the stirring I continue to get every so often. 

We were recently on a trip to California with the church staff and as I talked with a few of the other pastors about my feelings about this time of preparation we have been in.  What spoke to me like nothing that had ever spoken to me before was this simple statement “You do not need a degree to be a Christian or to be a disciple of Christ or to do good for his kingdom.  BUT, the people you serve are WORTHY of a degree.”  WOW.  I had been feeling a little inadequate when it comes to my actual gospel training and I knew Jesus spoke to BOTH of those friends with those words directly from Heaven.  So here I am, signed up to get my Masters Degree from Southeastern University in Ministerial Leadership starting the first of January.  Brett and I will finish around the same time.  Mine is a part-time two year Masters Degree.  The timing is perfect, Jesus confirmed what I knew I needed to do, twice.  So I just jumped. 

I realize that while we are in this season of our lives I canNOT look around, see what everyone else is doing and be envious or allow Satan to tell me what we are doing is not good enough.  He has a way of doing that sometimes.  I pray that our family continues to push through these next two years as we embrace who we are as a family, preparing ourselves for what Jesus has in store for us.  Jesus, protect our hearts and allow us to pursue your gospel the way that YOU have ordained for OUR lives.  May this be OUR story, perfectly imperfect. 

On a totally unrelated note.  I’m headed to Haiti December 26th-30th.  Please pray for our time there.  Looking forward to Jesus to be revealed to me.  I’m not dumb enough to think that my 5 days in a country like Haiti will do any good for THEM but I’m begging God to stir something deep within me to continue the Blondell story, however he see’s fit. 

A little Blondell kids update;

Kate and Ella are just finishing up their first half of Kindergarten at Lakeland Christian School.  They are really enjoying themselves and seem to be doing very well.  They are also on the Lakeland Area swim team which has been great for them.  They also do gymnastics one day a week (when we can make it haha). 

The twins are in the toddler room at Little Shepherds and have two of the sweetest teachers.  We are very happy there, like we always are ;).  They are starting to do a lot of talking now that they are two but continue to do a lot of “twin talk” in which I have NO idea what is going on, but they crack each other up constantly which is a treat to watch. 

Thankful for all my sweet sweet babies, thankful that the Lord saw us fit to raise this family.  There sure do make life worth living. 

I guess that’s all for now.


AFYG
Leslie

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Drowning

I feel like I'm drowning in American Christianity again. I'm so cynical and sad. I hate feeling this way please tell me it happens even in 3rd world countries?  But I already know the answer.  Today I drove a momma (our poorest of poor besides actually being homeless) 45 mins to get her PHONE fixed.  And I can't help but think - is this it?  We talked, listened to praise music - we are friends. She's a lesbian,  living with her girl friend and her 5 children in a free apartment. The government gives her food, shelter and enough for clothing and she (and THEM) seem to think that's plenty. Which it is. But there is so much more. Jesus. They know who Jesus is but reject him bc he's the western Jesus and lets be honest the Western Jesus doesn't look a whole lot like the Real Jesus.  And they have the government to be their Jesus.  I'm wrapped up in America - I have so much I don't think I could spend it all if I tried. And I hear God whisper - "give it all up.". I'm the rich man who walks away.....

My heart has been pierced by the tongues of friends and enemies alike. It hurts.  But his cause is more than words typed out. More than slanderous tongues or lost integrity.   I want to keep my integrity. I've failed. Grace oh beautiful Grace can you cover me again?  I've asked before but I need you again. I remember the cross and all it means I remember his grace is FREE to me but cost the heaviest price for HIM.  Thank you for that Jesus.

Oh heavy heart be still and wait for The Lord to move. Jesus fight for me and help me continue to fight for you. Guard me from those you warn me about and guard me from those people you know about. May it be here on earth as it is  Heaven.

Psalm 15
Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain?  The one whoses walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others; who despises a vile person but honors those who fear The Lord; who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind; who lends money to the poor without interest; who accepts a bribe against the innocent. Whoever does these things will never be shaken.

Amen.