Friday, December 31, 2010

Its a New Year.....

I've got a few things in mind that I want to "give to God" this year but I'm really struggling with letting go and letting God.  I have a very type "A" personality and it's one of my major character flaws, you could say, that I have to be in control.  This year I want to give "that" first and foremost to God.  He has to be in control.  Less of me more of You.

Another thing I'm kicking around is giving up buying ANY new clothes for myself in 2011.  This will open us up to be able to give more freely to situations that God puts in our lives.  Which is 100 times better than ANY clothing I can buy.  However, if you know know how hard this is going to be.   Another problem with this commitment is that Brett and I would like to get pregnant this year and if that happens I'm not sure what that will mean for my no clothes rule.  I gave away 100% of my maternity clothing after I had Ella b/c I honestly never thought I would want to be pregnant again.  Guess I was wrong haha.  I'm SURE I will be able to borrow my friends old clothing but I always hate asking things like that. This is just another case of the "what if's" and this must go into God's hands.

Speaking of getting pregnant.  This paragraph could be PAGES and PAGES long but I'll keep it short (maybe).  We are currently in cycle 5 of fertility treatments.  I just had lap surgery done to get rid of my stage 3 endo and we are praying that this will be our "fix" and things will happen quickly now but there is no guarantees.  After this month we will start on a new drug I have never used before and also do a trigger shot to make sure things are timed 100% perfect.  After just a few of these tries we will move forward with IUI's and maybe if all else fails back to IVF.  I pray that God has better plans for us than IVF but I also know that HE is in control and HIS timing is perfect.  We are so blessed that we have good insurance, great doctors and a MIGHTY God.  =)

Now onto our foster situation.....
With the Holidays things have been put on hold until the new year.  I'm planning on calling our social worker to set up our first home study on Monday.  I also need to get all the info for the other things that must be completed.  Such as, finger prints, federal and local background checks, CPR classes and pool safety.  We also have to have our home tested for radon fun.  Another thing we have to do is get together a few pay check stubs and all of finanical statements from last year to prove that we are not in this "for the money."  It's hard to believe people do this "for the money" considering you don't get hardly ANY money but I guess with any goverment program people take advantage of it.  Makes me VERY sad.

Well thats all for now.  Praying for two miracles this year.....please continue to keep our growing family in your prayers! =)


Friday, December 24, 2010

"I believe God is saying to us that real success is found in radical sacrifice. That ultimate satisfaction is found not in making much of ourselves but in making much of him. That the purpose of our lives transcends the country and culture in which we live. That meaning is found in community, not individualism. That joy is found in generosity, not materialism. And that Jesus is a reward worth risking everything for." ~David Platt

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Beautiful Exchange....

Holy are you God, Holy is your name, with everything I've got - my heart will sing - HOW I LOVE YOU....

Tomorrow, December 9th, 2010 we will finish our Mapp classes.  This will take us one step closer to our final destination of becoming foster parents. It's been a wonderful 10 weeks.  We have met some pretty amazing selfless people in our class.  People full of hope and love for others, people full of joy and happiness but most of all people who love Jesus.

If I told you I wasn't scared of what is to come, I would be lying.  I lay awake some nights thinkings of all the what if's.   Thinking of how I will handle certain situations.  And sometimes I go to bed grieving a life that I know I will be leaving behind for the sake of the kingdom.  However, the bible doesn't say to step out in the faith - but only if you are 100% confident you will not be hurt, that your family will not be hurt, that you will not lose some sort of self in the process.  No, the bible says to take care of the orphans.  In David Platt's book Radical he says this "Why do we assume that if it's risky, unsafe, or costly it can't be God's will....when in reality it just might be?" Taking care of others is not simply a choice we are 'aloud' to make.  It's a command.

Over the last few months I have heard the good, the bad and the ugly from many people.  Some have been burned by the system and some have only wonderful and joy filled stories to share with me.  I have no idea what our story will be - I just pray that God will use us to love on some of his precious children.  I pray that our story will inspire others to open up there hearts and their homes.  And maybe - just maybe - I will lose a little bit of "me" in the process.

What's next?  Well we have a mountain of paper work to get started on.  Then once it's finished we will start the home studies.  Our social worker would like to have us finished with everything by the end of January.  We are asking for your continued prayers and support as we take the biggest steps of faith we have ever taken.  God we trust you....