Monday, June 27, 2011

Well we are on team....

BLUE AND PINK!  The twins are boy/girl.  We are so excited we can't stand it!  God is good.

Their names are Nora Emerson (Emerson after Brett's grandfather who just passed away) and Nolan John (John after my father).  We are thrilled and beyond blessed with the news of our sweet babies!

Total kid count 3 girls 1 boy....I think our son will be quite the ladies man! =)


Sunday, June 26, 2011

5 years ago this weekend.....

5 years ago this 4th of July weekend my father started showing signs that something was very very wrong. It took only a month to diagnoses him with one of the hardest cancers to beat, Pancreatic Cancer.  It all started with a stomach ache at our 4th of July family beach reunion and quickly turned into jaundice which ultimately lead to a very quick diagnoses of the problem.   He was told that his cancer was in stage 2B (which is good) but that he still only had a 4% chance to survive past 5 years.  Pancreatic Cancer without a doubt is one of the most deadly cancers you could ever get.

After his diagnoses there was a major surgery to remove the tumor, called the Whipple surgery ( which left him with permanent digestion problems which he still struggles with daily, 5 years later.  After his surgery he had months and months of chemo and radiation which almost killed him a few times.  All in hopes to give himself a few extra years.  No one would have EVER thought that my precious miracle father would still be alive today.  And not only alive but LIVING life.

I remember a time shortly after his chemo/radiation was over that he had his first body scan.  The radiologist here in Lakeland brought him into his office and told him, I'm sorry John but its in your lungs (it was actually only scaring and the radiologist jumped the gun a bit).  My dad came home from that and called my brother and I over and told us the news.  We knew what it meant, we knew he would be dead within a matter of months.  I crawled up into his lap and cried and cried and cried to this day the thought of this moment brings back so much deep pain its hard to re-tell the story.  My life as I knew it was changing and I had no choice but to accept the cards that had been dealt.  Shortly after this "finding" my dad started with a new doctor in M.D. Anderson in Texas.  After his first trip out there and after MANY tests they concluded that what they saw in his lungs was NOT cancer but scar tissue and sure enough, they were correct, it was gone by the next scan.  Another miracle moment for my father.

Through all of this my dad has changed.  He's kinder, gentler, more carrying, more compassionate, and has a sweet passion for people going through the same diagnosis or ANY cancer diagnosis.  His love for God and for life is not something he takes for granite.  He is able to really enjoy his "good days."  I couldn't even put into words all the struggles he still has and will continue to have until the day he dies but you wouldn't hear him complain to you about it.  He's positive attitude and fight for his life is something to be admired.

My dad has always been the rock of our family and will continue to be.  He is a wonderful example of what a father should look like. And God knew his work here wasn't finished just yet.  God is so good and his healing is ONLY explained by the grace of God.  My dad was in the 4% survival group, it still blows my mind.

I want to conclude with a little something I wrote in the depth of my pain when we felt like there was no hope. All we had was God's promises to hold onto and the hope that he would hear our cries.....

It's fascinating how God lays things on your heart at just the right moment to get you prepared for the news you will hear or the trials you will deal with. So when I feel God pulling on my heart I pray, I listen and I rejoice in the clarity of God - even in the mucky waters of my own mind. I just believe and let my soul rest ashore in the promises of God. I feel broken, I feel defeated and yet in all of it I feel calm and carried. When I feel like I have nothing left to give I am reminded that I am walking through this nightmare with the Savior of the world. I am grateful for the arms of God and the beautiful life that will once again be mine. So I look ahead and not behind and I am mindful of the tragedy and yet the beauty that is all around me. I prayerfully consider my road called "life" and I have learned to grieve when I need to and accept things as they come - all the while claiming healing and peace to every area of my life. I know that there is nothing like the Love of God and to really grasp that is my beautiful obsession. In the end I bind the fear that so easily entangles me and I place my cares in the God who holds the universe.

I love you dad, you are the strongest most courageous man I know.  I am blessed to be your daughter.  May all the days of my life be spent thanking God for you and for the way that you showed me that God is good, all the time.  I'm so glad I've had 5 extra years to spend with you.  I'm so glad you have been able to meet each and everyone of your grand children and for all the joy you bring us on a daily basis.  I love you.


Thursday, June 23, 2011

The belly at 14.5 weeks...

Here it is....getting bigger haha.  We find out next week what sex they are! =)  YAY!


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

14 weeks

Well today I am 14 weeks pregnant.  It's really hard for me to believe to be honest with you.  It seems like I'm not very far along but then again I can't believe I'm already 14 weeks and now officially in the second trimester.  WOW.

So far things have been pretty ruff.  I've had a LOT of back pain, a lot of digestion problems and tons of exhaustion.  I am however so grateful for these sweet babies and I'm so looking forward to seeing them again next week.  And of course finding out what sexes they are!  Will it be 2 girls, 2 boys or one of each? Ahhh I just want to know for SURE and tell our news!!!

Currently I'm watching the show in TLC "19 Kids and Counting" (The Duggars) and it always makes me feel like having 4 kids is SO do-able haha.  They also have great money saving tips, which is also a bonus haha.

Well thats all for now! =)


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I know something...but I'm not telling....YET....

Well I went to the OB this morning because I've been having  A LOT of cramping type pain the last two days.  Turns out everything is perfect my cervix is very long (4.8), closed and thick so we basically had to chalk it up to round ligament pains.   I never had them with Ella because I grew so slowly but with the twins my uterus is now measuring 18/19 weeks.  CRAZY!  Its getting SO big SO fast that it's causing a lot of cramping and pulling and will continue on that way for pretty much the whole pregnancy.  But I'm SO glad I went in to get checked out and can rest easy that my body is just growing!

On to the fun part.....I had an ultrasound at my visit (I have an ultrasound at every single visit so its wasn't a surprise or anything).  Anyways the ultrasound tech was so so sweet.  She spent about 30 minutes with me just getting measurements and showing me all sorts of fun things, the hands, feet, legs, etc.  They were precious and so perfect.  She then asks you want me to guess the sexes?  I was alone (my husband didn't come because it was such short notice) but of course I said YESSSSS.  So she spent a good 10 minutes looking at the goods haha.  Lets just say we are about 99% on one of the babies, the other is still up in the air.  We will know for sure in 2 weeks.  It was so darn fun looking and guessing.  I can't wait to find out for sure on June 30th and share with everyone our fun news!

Also, the NT scan blood results came back - PERFECT.  Our little ones have no increased risk for Down Syndrome.  I get some more blood work in a few weeks and that will confirm what we already know!  Two perfect little angle babies in there!

We are so blessed! =)

(Jess if you are reading this message me in the morning and I'll tell you what I know haha).


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

12 weeks

Well here is the belly at 12 weeks (I'm measuring 16 weeks)

Here is Twin A at 12 weeks

Here is Twin B at 12 weeks

Today was my 12 week doctors appointment.  I had my NT scan done today.  This measures the fluid on the back of the baby's neck to assess the risk of Down Syndrome.  This is a fairly new test and a lot of woman decline the test but for me I just needed to know what our risks were.  I am happy to report that the measurements came back perfect and now we will wait about a week for the blood test results...but so far everything is PERFECT.  The babies look precious, we are so blessed!  We will find out their sexes at our next appointment on June 30th.  It can't come soon enough! =)

Last but not least here are my sweet girls on there last day of 2 year old pre-school.  We will miss you Ms. Pam and Ms. Katina - you two are wonderful!!!!!  Let the summer break begin!!!!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Twin Pregnancy = NO JOKE....

I know I should be OVERJOYED to be pregnant and while yes I am this twin pregnancy is NOT easy.  I didn't even look/feel pregnant until I was closer to 25 weeks with Ella but here I am at 12 weeks and I'm huge and uncomfortable.  My belly out of control and so are my tummy troubles.  While I'm not throwing up I'm so nausea at night that I can hardly stand it.  I'm just praying this is a first tri problem and not a twin pregnancy problem.  My organs have already been shifted around SO much and my actual stomach is NOT a happy camper about being pushed around - I'm having a lot of stomach pains.  Honestly, I had NO idea carrying more than one baby would be as hard as it is and I'm not even in the second tri yet (just a few days away, yahoo haha).  Then I think about people who carry 3, 4, 5 babies and I honestly don't know how anyones body could actually handle it.  The good news is that all this pain is SO worth it and when I lay my eyes on my sweet twin babies here in a few months all this pain will be forgotten.  I really want to try and connect with these babies before they come and try to enjoy this pregnancy because it will be in my last.  I'm so grateful that God aloud us the privilege to have another baby(ies) and I need to keep remembering that God will take care of me.  He will get me through.

I have my NT scan (a detailed ultra sound of the twins to check for Downs Syndrome) on Tuesday the 7th.  I'm really excited to see my babies again.  I know that everything will be just fine and it will be nice to have the test over with! I also have a few questions for my doctor, I hope he's ready for me haha.

On an exciting note.  My sweet daughter Ella turns 3 on Sunday the 12th.  I just can't believe it.  She's getting so big (but is oh-so-tiny compared to other 3 year olds haha).  She's such a joy and really is a wonderful little girl.  We decided to not do a birthday party for her but instead we are going to Disney to have a "princess makeover" at the Magic Kingdom.  My sweet nieces Grace and Ila will be joining Ella and Kate.  They are going to have the BEST time.  I'm so excited for them.

That is all for now.....I know I need to post a belly picture soon.  It's pretty shocking haha.  Don't be have been warned.