Monday, February 14, 2011

Another pregnancy announcement.....why does it STILL sting a little?

I know I'm not the only infertile woman who feels their stomach drop when they hear a pregnancy announcement exp. when people get pregnant on accident or the first time trying - yes even infertile's who have children and have beaten infertility - it's something that NEVER goes away.   I HATE that I feel that way.  It's the LAST thing I want to feel.  I want to be happy and I AM happy but I'm also sad.  It TRULY blows my mind that someone can get off birth control, have sex a few times, and make a baby.  I understand that is how you make a baby (duh) but when its never happened for you like that its just unreal to think that's "normal."  And because I know everything that has to be perfect and take place for a pregnancy to happen it's a wonder how anyone can not believe in God.   I know people don't think about it like infertile's do - you don't need to - trust me.  But today I'm feeling sad.  I shouldn't, I know thats what you are thinking...you have two beautiful girl why would you be sad?  But I'm sad b/c I know what my heart wants and I know that God has given me the desire to mother others for a reason.  So why is it so hard, so expensive, SO painful?  But I AM blessed...I DO have two beautiful, smart, and kind daughters who I would give my life for.  Thank you Lord for reminding me everyday just how blessed by YOU I truly am.  You never fail....

Leslie

4 comments:

Jon, Jessica and Grace Nelson said...

Hi Sweet friend, just wanted to remind you that HE has already defeated all of your struggles including this, and he promises us victory through Him!

LOVE YOU!
Jess

Brooklyn Lindsey said...

It's ok to feel this way....you are safe expressing your heart. And God hears your cries and will send exactly what you need, when you need it. Love you friend. Praying for you.

A-town & JoJo said...

God will bless you with what you desire. I know the feeling but always have faith that God has a plan. Josh and I wish that we could get pregnant tomorrow. But its just not our time yet. Love you! Thank you for your posts.

kostella said...

i understand the feeling. you get so frustrated with yourself for feeling a little down when you hear of others good news. all you want is to wholeheartedly rejoice with them and i think they know that. we mourn together and we jump for joy together. i'll be praying for your journey these next few weeks as you and brett prepare for ivf. wow does it sound like A LOT to do! God is good and he doesn't withhold any good thing from those who are in awe of Him. praying and believing with you.