Wednesday, February 2, 2011

This morning I was going to Haiti...and here I sit tonight in America. My heart broken for the sweet people of Haiti.

I woke up this morning with a strange sense of peace about leaving for Haiti today (at 4:00pm).  Everything was washed, packed, and ready to go.  I had doted all my i's and crossed all my t's but sometimes our human hearts and minds can not understand the will of God.  His plans are far grater than mine and his love for Haiti is far grater than mine.  Today I am reminded once again that he is God and I am not....

I got a call today from Kenny (CPI's leader) that there had been an announcement in Haiti today that they would be making known who would be in the presidential election run-off.  This is causing much political unrest in this already broken country.  People are already preparing for massive rioting in the streets of Port-a-Prince.  We can not, as American's, risk going down there and be caught in the middle of this.   The goal of CPI is a LIFE LONG commitment to the people of Chauffard and it's not worth the risk of going down there RIGHT NOW.  If something bad happened if we went CPI might never be able to go back and it's MORE important that they have a life long relationship with those people even if it means canceling at the very list minute.

My heart is heavy today.  I know that by not going today to Haiti that my dream of going may be put off for more than a year.  Brett and I are starting our next IVF cycle in the up coming weeks and I most likely will be in the middle of my cycle when they take their next trip at the end of March.  I'm torn over what to do.  I will be in prayer for not only the sweet people of Haiti but also for our decision in starting the cycle.  I know that God will direct my path and I also know that Haiti is not going anywhere.  I am and will continue to be in prayer for the country and continue to support CPI financially now and in the future.  To God be the glory for lifting Haiti out of the darkness and into the light.

I also wanted to thank all of my sweet friends who have talked me off the ledge and have helped me to see the good in all of this chaos that has been my life the last few weeks (between infertility, friends moving and now this).  I've been at my breaking point for the last month and this is the cherry on top.  I was praying that by going I was going to find some peace and some time to stop and re-focus my attention on something and someone other than myself .  This has reminded me that I shouldn't be waiting for a "mountain top moment" to get things in order.

Lord please be with me tonight, surround me with your love and peace.  Thank you for breaking my heart for what breaks yours....

1 comment:

kEllEy_G said...

Praying with you regarding your decision...