Total Shot Count - 10
Side Effects - TOO MANY TO LIST.
Honestly....I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through. I don't remember my emotions being so off the chain last time like they are right now. I could try and explain the emotions that go along with IVF but words on a page could NEVER do it justice. Ever. My heart is heavy, but my brain knows that what we are doing is well worth every penny, every heart ache, every shot, every drive to Orlando and every phone call of bad news - because in the end I know that God has big plans for our family.
Today I went to the doctor for my ovary suppression check. It didn't go well. I still have a cyst on my left ovary. It IS smaller than it was 3 weeks ago but it's still bigger than they would like to see before starting stims. When I saw the cyst on the ultra sound machine - I knew it was too big and I lost it. I cried like a little girl. My sweet nurse talked me through it - I really adore the office staff at CRM in Orlando. I am blessed. I will get the call back around 3 or 4pm (after the doctor has seen my blood work and scans) to give me an updated game plan. I'm hoping that it's just a few more days of Lupron and then a re-check followed by starting stims sometime next week.
Today I realize that I am better and stronger because of my circumstances. My love for my kids is amplified because of my circumstances and so is my love for God. Because in the myst of my pain that is when God comes....He Comes Like The Rain....